Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Funny cricket joke by Kejriwal | Kejriwal jokes

Kejriwal: Main batting ke liye taiyaar hoon, lekin meri kuchh sharte hain
1. Koi tej gendbaaji nahin karega
2. Mera shot koi nahin rokega
3. Koi catch nahin pakadega
4. Koi run-out nahin karega
5. Koi out ki appeal nahin karega
6. Apne out hone na hone ka faisla main khud karunga

Kejriwal And Modi Joke | Kejriwal Jokes

Arvind Kejriwal : How Famous are you…??

Narendra Modi : Whole world knows me.

Keju : Obama knows you..?

Modi: yes

Keju: Any proof?

Then…NaMo and Keju went to Obama’s house.

NaMo : stand here at the gate, i’ll be there with Obama in balcony and show u.

Keju : ok.

Narendra Modi comes with Obama and waved to Arvind Kejriwal from balcony.

Aftr sometime, Modi Ji bahar aaye toh dekha, Kejriwal behosh pada tha…

hosh me aane ke baad Modi Ji ne Kejriwal se reason pucha..

Kejriwal : Ek American aaya tha, aur puchha ki,
Who is that man with Narendra Modi in balcony…?

Santa’s Joke on kejriwal | Kejriwal Jokes

Santa’s e-banking password was:

“ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal”

Banta: Yaar! Itna lamba password?

Santa: Kya karoon. Bank wale kehte hai ki password main 5 character aur 1 capital hona chahie….

Banta: wo sab thik hai, par Kejri uncle kyun ??

Santa: Ek special character bhi zaroori hai….

Kejriwal reaction on Successful Mars Mission | Kejriwal jokes

Kejriwal = It is illegal step by Modi’s government to conquer mars. Hum MARS par dharna karenge..

Alia bhatt: Ab ‘MARS’ wali chocolate aur bhi sasti ho jayegi..

Rahul gandhi: Main mars se chunav ladunga…

Priyanka Gandhi: We should change the name of mars to Rajiv Gandhi Lal Grah.

Anil ambani = my IPL team cricketers will be from MARS. i will name it after my wife’s name
“MARS TINA HOTTERS”.

Sonia Gandhi = Martians should be declared as Minorities…

Geelani = We want Mars free from India…

Chidambaram = Mars is a Special Economic Zone area. It Should be given to Robert Vadra..

Akhilesh yadav = Mars par Uttar pradesh se jyaada apradh hotey hain.

And the best statement comes from pakistan

Bilawal Bhutto = Hum Mars ka ek ek inch bharat se le lawange

Kejriwal ke paida hone se pehle | Kejriwal jokes

Kejriwal ke paida hone se pehle
Doctor gharwalo se bola:
Bachcha aa nahin raha hai,
Andar dharne par baitha hai

.

Jab Ekta Kapoor paida hui
To Doctor ghar walo se bola :
Badhai ho,
Kaun hua janne ke liye dekhiye..
Agla Episode!

.

Jab Prabhu Deva paida hua
To Doctor ghar walo se bola :
Badhai ho,
Bachha jab hilna band karega,
to check karke batayenge ki kya hua hai!

.

Jab Daya (CID) paida hua
To saare Doctors ne bhagkar
Hospital ke saare darwaze band kar diye!

.

Jab Suresh Kalmadi paida hua
To Doctor ghar walo se bola :
Badhai ho,
Ghotala hua hai,
Janch jaari hai!

.

Jab Digvijay Singh paida hua
To Doctor ghar walo se bola :
Badhai ho,
Aapke sath mazak hua hai!

.

Jab Narendra Modi paida hua
To Doctor ghar walo se bola :
Badhai ho,
Aapke ghar Sher-e-Hindustan paida hua hai!

.

Jab Manmohan Singh paida hua
To Doctor ghar walo se bola :
Badhai ho,
Sannata Hua hai!

Funny Kejriwal Jokes | Kejriwal Jokes

Kejriwal ne 12 baje ghadi me time dekha
To usne ghadi tod di..
Jab Kisi ne puchha kyun todi?
To bola..
Yeh teeno suiya mili hui hai!!

This Diwali Crack Celebrity Bombs | Dilwali Jokes

 Bollywood celebrity:

1) #CelebCrackers Sonam Kapoor bomb will be decorated well but as soon as it is ignited.. "Phusss"

2) If you will Alok Nath bomb, it will shower flowers on you. #CelebCrackers

3) #celebcrackers Salman Khan rocket.Kills roadside people.

4) Lal rang ki surri aur golden colour ka yeh bomb, saalon saal same dikhe, diwali pe diwali, pesh hai Rekha Bomb #CelebCrackers

5) Amir Khan brand - light it up this DIWALI and it will burst next DIWALI. #CelebCrackers

6) Big B Bomb: It's quite posh & is status symbol if you can afford. (Disclaimer: Bomb No T-1102 can't fire off before T-1101) #CelebCrackers

7) Ekta kapoor rocket : Once ignited,goes up,Comes down back in the bottle.Again goes up. Repeats this 3 times #CelebCrackers

8) After lighting a Taran Adarsh rocket you can see 5 stars in the sky. #CelebCrackers

Political celebrity:

9) Narendra Modi Cracker will Gain Audience and then Blast.... #CelebCrackers

10) Don't purchase advani bomb as it will always remain in waiting #CelebCrackers

11) Woh anar jo jalte hue har 49 second baad rang badle, pesh hai Kejriwal Anar #CelebCrackers

12) Light bhi chamkegi, dhuan bhi niklega par aawaj nahi aaegi. Manmohan Patake.#CelebCrackers

13) #CelebCrackers Manmohan Singh bomb, you ignite it and see it will always be silent. On the contrary take Arnab Goswami bomb and booom!!!

14) Rahul Gandhi Bomb: It won't blast but only release Nitrous Oxide (laughing gas) and you'll die laughing. #CelebCrackers

15) Jalate jalate doosre k ghar Mein pahuch jaati hai,janab uss ghar ko bhi aapna kehne ka dawa kar jaati hai-Bilawal Chakri #CelebCrackers

16) A rajdeep sardesai bomb will catch fire only when it is slapped;-p #celebCrackers

Sports celebrity

17) Sachin Tendulkar Bombs will be sold as Master Blaster. #CelebCrackers

18) A sania mirza bomb will blast in india but the noise will be heard in pakistan. #CelebCrackers

19) Dhoni Bomb - Explodes when everyone is like " Saala kab fatega?" #CelebCrackers